How to Eat Wings Without Looking Like a Neanderthal on Your First Date

A pub style restaurant is an excellent choice for a first date. In addition to a fun, casual atmosphere, you can enjoy some great pub food like burgers, fries, and wings. Unfortunately for wing lovers, hot wings always seem to appear on lists that cover the worst foods to eat on a first date. Fortunately, there are some easy steps you can take to enjoy a big plate of wings without looking like a knuckle-dragger. Below are ten steps to help you eat wings without looking like a Neanderthal on your first date.

1) Arrive at the restaurant prepared with your “Pub Food Cleanup Kit”: Never assume that a restaurant will have everything you need to enjoy a plate of wings and score a second date. Make sure that you arrive prepared with mints and a few disposable towelettes in case things get messy. Just don’t go overboard and make it too obvious. You want to look casually prepared; not obsessive compulsive.

2) Make sure there are plenty of napkins at the table: A wing-sauce goatee is not going to earn you points with your date. Before you dive into your plate of wings—or any other sans-cutlery pub food—you want to be sure that you’re able to quickly wipe away any remnants of wing sauce from your chin so you don’t look like a five a year old who just ate a mittful of spaghetti. Ask your server to bring a few extra napkins before your favourite pub food arrives.

3) Ask your server to go easy on the wing sauce: A surefire way to reduce the potential for a sloppy showdown with your wings is to ask your server to go light on the wing sauce. You can still enjoy the flavour of wings tossed with savory sauces like Sweet Thai Chili, Sriracha-Lime, Sea Salt and Cracked Pepper, BBQ, or Maple-Roasted Garlic; simply tell your server not to overdo it on the sauce.

4) Try not to talk with your mouth full: This might seem like basic advice. However, it is easy to get excited about your date or a football game and hold up more than your end of the conversation. While your date may be receptive to some extra chatter, she will not want to have an intimate view of your chewing process. This also means refraining from making lots of sounds when you eat—and absolutely no grunting—unless your date does so first, in which case, you’ll want to return the sounds to express your approval and prove that you’re the same species.

5) Try not to eat more than one wing per minute: When you see your server approaching with a big plate of wings soaked in your favorite sauce, it can be a challenge to curb your enthusiasm. However, this step is a necessity to avoid the Neanderthal designation. Stripping a wing of meat in one bite is not the seductive equivalent of tying a cherry stem in a knot with your tongue. Just don’t.

6) Do your best to stay focused on your date: It can be easy for your mind to drift when your date is telling you all about her “crazy ex” or her “three adorable cats,” especially if a game is on. Despite the distractions, try your best to make your date your main point of focus throughout the night. Listen intently, ask lots of questions and even feign a little interest in her cats. And don’t forget to show your date the courtesy of having the last wing.

7) Refrain from showcasing your bad habits: Have a little mystery and save revealing all your quirks and habits until your budding relationship becomes long-term. It can be easy to slip into your regular habits when you are enjoying your favourite pub food. And while licking your fingers, or heaven-forbid, wiping your mouth with the sleeve of your shirt, may be something you get away with when hanging with your crew, refrain from doing so when you’re on a date unless you don’t want a second one.

8) Wash your hands thoroughly after your meal: Now that you have successfully devoured a plate of wings without warding off your date, it is time for some serious cleanup. Head to the nearest washroom to clean up and remove the smell of wing sauce from your hands. Check your teeth while you’re at it.

9) Pop a few mints as you are leaving the restaurant: Unless you want to leave your odds of scoring a kiss to chance, you should pop a few mints or gum as you are leaving the restaurant—don’t use breath spray unless your personal style involves velour track suits and exposed chest hair, faux fur lined low-rider cars and comb overs.

10) Pick a great location and suggest a return trip: Face it, you and your date may be compatible in almost every way with a few exceptions which may include disagreeing on your favourite pub food. You love wings, but your date is craving salad or calamari. That doesn’t have to be a first date deal breaker by any means. Just pick a location that can accommodate you both. With excellent ambiance, a variety of pub food favourites and over 40 beers on tap, Yates Street Taphouse is the perfect place to bring your date. Dress up or dress down, arrive early or late, pop in for a snack before or after a movie or concert. Our Late Night Menu is a great way to wrap up the end of your night.